A Solution to a Problem

A few nights ago during an NBA game, Kevin Garnett tossed the ball into the first few rows of seats behind the hoop, hitting a fan in the head. He was ejected from the game and fined $5,000, which is the equivalent of someone fining me a dime. Anyway, the real story is about the guy who was hit with the ball. I first heard of what happened by reading the bottom line on ESPN, you know where the scores and transactions scroll by. It read "Garnett ejected from game after throwing ball into stands; hitting fan." When I saw that, I figured he hurled the ball 30 rows back and hit someone who wasn't paying attention. Then I saw the replay. Garnett took the ball after the whistle had blown, and just flipped it behind the basket. His arm didn't even make a throwing motion; he didn't even bring his arm back like you would when you throw a ball. He just tossed it, flipped it...it was just about the same throw as you would make playing Beirut.
The man who got hit wasn't bleeding. His nose wasn't broken, his eyes weren't watering...he didn't even have a red mark on his face. But he called for a stretcher. A Fucking Stretcher for having a ball lightly bounce off his head. Are you kidding me pal? This guy looked to be in his 40's, and was there with his daughter. If she had been hit with the ball she wouldn't have even cried, and Daddy has to leave on a stretcher for medical attention? Jesus Christ what is going on in this country. This dude probably figured he had a big pay day on his hands, and tried to make it look worse than it was. Then while he was being 'treated' in a back room, he probably caught a replay of what happened and was embarassed for himself and his family. At least the fans there booed the shit out of him when they saw him get on the stretcher, and he deserved that. I'm classifying this act as: Sub-human.

Another incident occurred in the NBA earlier this season. Antonio Davis, who played for the New York Knicks, went up into the stands after his wife was involved in an altercation with a fan. The fan, a guy named Mike Axelrod, said that he was planning on suing Davis for $1 million dollars. Apparently, when a woman swears at you and poked your chest with her finger, that is grounds for a lawsuit. Where I come from, if you can't handle a dispute with a woman, you might as well be one yourself. My question is: Who allows these frivolous lawsuits to be filed, or even discussed? If this incident had taken place in 1985 at The Boston Gahdn, she would have gotten punched, taken out by security and dumped in the alley while the man who punched her finished watching the game and having his cigarette indoors. Today, you get in a heated arguement with someone, and you end up being sued. What the fuck is going on?

Obviously, the people getting sued are filthy rich, and the people filing suit probably not so much. But why is it that people with money are such targets? Kevin Garnett is over 7 feet tall and one of the best basketball players on Earth? So he is rewarded with a $100 million dollar contract. His punishment? Having to fend off bottom feeders and scumbags looking to extort all his money from him. Professional athletes are paid exorbinate amounts of money, but that doesn't mean that we should try to take it. I'm not 7 feet tall, so i boil my options down to getting mad at God or suing someone is who that tall. I don't know who's fault all this is, but it makes me sick. There is no way that everytime something happens involving an athlete and a fan I have to hear about a lawsuit, especially when nothing really happens. I can't wait for the day Shaq goes into the front row for a ball, and grabs a handful of popcorn from a fan, as has happened before. Then Shaq finds out later he is being sued because the fan got a cold and thinks it was from Shaq's hand in his popcorn. When is it going to end?

My solution? The players should start suing the fans. Think about it; players get sued all the time for minor incidents and infractions. What is preventing Kevin Garnett from suing the guy yelling, "Hey Garnett, I fucked your mother and she loved it!" from being sued for slandering his mother's name? I hope the next time David Ortiz comes up to bat in the Bronx and Johny NewYorker yells " Ortiz you suck dick you fag!" that he steps out of the box, calls time and points the guy out to the police. Then after the game he accounces that the man is being sued for defamation of character. Seriously, think about it. One athlete sues one asshole fan, and all this comes to an end. Usually the person with the most money is better off in a court hearing anyway. The athlete could suck that fan dry to the point of remortaging his house without even missing the $20, 000 in court fees that went into busting this asshole down. If this sort of fan behavior doesn't end soon, the only way to watch a game is going to be on television because fans won't be allowed at the games. So here's to the fan that goes to a game not to see his favorite player or watch his hometown team, but to hopefully get into an altercation with a player, however small or insignificant it might be...so he can sue the shit of the player. Long live sports.