Un-Fucking-Believable News: 2.24.2006

How to Rob

This past week in the United Kingdom, bank robbers made off with more than $42 million from a bank in southeastern London. That's awsome. Other sources put the total closer to $75 million. So rarely do we hear about modern day bank robberies that are this successful or elaborate. Allegedly, the heist involved no less than six people, four separate cars, and multiple kidnappings. The best part is, nobody got hurt.The money was taken from a private security firm. The robbers kidnapped the manager, and separately, his wife and son. The man's family was kidnapped from their home, while the manager got picked up driving home. The guys who pulled these off must have huge nuts. They posed as cops when they pulled over the bank manager. They cuffed him and brought him back to the money house to open it up. When they got there, the six men tied up the staff on duty, spent an hour emptying the money out, and took off. This is exactly the way a robbery should happen, if a robbery must happen is to happen at all. Those crazy guys who run up on a bank teller with stockings on his head telling the petrified woman behind the counter to empty the safe are dangerous. Those crimes are done by desperate people during desperate times. This heist(love that word) seems to have been well thought out and planned over months. The best part was the execution of the whole plan. It must have been like watching Jordan and the Bulls run the Triangle Offense. Everyone does what they are supposed to do, nobody panics...everyone wins. I'm going to keep an eye on this story...

Earth's Population Spiraling Out of Control!

Incredibly, this story talks about the Earth's population reaching 6.5 billion on Saturday. What the fuck? Who decided that, and how would anyone know? Just in case you were wondering, it is going to happen at exactly 7:16pm. Now, this obviously isn't an exact figure, but it sure is a bold claim to make. I mean, if you are making taking a guess at this based off numbers, why designate a specific time. According to your numbers, this event SHOULD happen on this date and time, but you don't know if that is the case. Say someone in Iraq pushes their suicide mission up a few days and blows himself up Friday? Then your numbers are fucked, and your claim bogus.
But let me get this straight: We cannot build an affordable car that doesn't run on gas, cure cancer, or build a spaceship that works, but we can say we know the exact total number of humans on Earth at any given moment is? Give me a break. Maybe the people working on this global census should be reassigned to projects worth spending time on, since you cannot tell when people are going to die, or exactly when someone is going to be born. Apparently, there are 4.4 people born every second. One item of interest is that the popultion has doubled since 1960. Which means in 40 years, we went from around 3 million people on Earth to around 6 million people. I think life's revolving door is getting stuck. Too many people are living, not enough are dying. Perhaps those 4 and a half kids born every second don't add up to the people who are dying, walking through the other side. So what's the solution Earth? More babies, or more dead?

Island in Middle of Caribbean Source of Dispute

I read about this article last week, but thought it was very intersting. There is an island in the middle of the Caribbean ocean named Isla Aves, or Bird Island. This island has been the source of a dispute between many different countries, claiming it for their own. Two countries, mainly Venezuela and the island of Dominica, claim it is theirs and within their boundries. Dominica is 70 miles west of the island, while Venezuela is over 340 miles south. Under U.N. rules, a country can claim unclaimed land within 200 miles of its coast. Currently there is a Venezuelan coast guard shack there, which is inhabited and run by the military. The island is rumored to be sitting on a huge amount of oil as well. Also of note, the island is never more than 120 feet wide or more than 12 feet above the ocean. It has been known to completely disappear during hurricanes as well, and is composed mostly of sand and coral. It got its name from the huge amount of birds that visit here. It is strategically placed in the middle of the Caribbean, making it very valuable. The president of Venezuela particularly wants the island for his country. He has gone so far as to send people out there to get married. I just want to go there and stand on a sandbar in the middle of the ocean, with no land in sight.