Wie Hate You, Michelle

It took the actions of a 16-year old girl to write me a one-way ticket back to Bloggsville.

For those of you who don't know, Michelle Wie is a teenage golf protege. At 16 years of age, she has already played many events on the LPGA tour, even though she isn't yet a professional golfer. Not only has she played on tour, she has done exceedingly well. Until last week's 26th place finish at the Women's British Open, Wie had finished no lower than 5th in all six of the tournaments she played in this year. Needless to say, that is a very impressive feat for someone who doesn't even have a driver's license yet.

Just because she is young doesn't mean she is at a physical disadvantage. At over 6 feet tall, she is already one of the tallest players on tour. Her long, powerful swing is a product of her considerable height and physical gifts. Considering the herd of buffalo usually stampeding up a LPGA leaderboard (not you, Natalie Gulbis), Wie is a breath of fresh air. Anytime a woman on the LPGA tour bears no resemblance to Rosie O'Donnell, that has to be considered a bonus. Even though I despise Michelle Wie, make no mistake: I would sacrifice someone's first born child to have her swing and God-given ability on the golf course. However, that is the point at which my admiration for Michelle Wie ends.

A day after her worst finish of the year, Wie fired her caddy, Greg Johnston. Johnston is a veteran caddy, his resume including a 12-year run on the bag for Julie Inkster, resulting in 4 major titles. Perhaps the firing would have been easier to accept if Wie had done it personally. Instead, she had her agent do it. Then her agent pulled a "Wie," firing Johnston over the phone Monday morning, even though the two had dinner together Sunday night. You would think after guiding Wie to a successful start to her career that Johnston had at least earned a face-to-face firing. Apparently when you become a protege, there isn't time between sessions at the driving range to learn tact.

(After missing the cut, Michelle had her agent fire God)

I have had a major problem with Wie since she started competing in men's tournaments last year...the firing of her caddy was just the last straw. She hasn't even won an LPGA event, yet she still insists on playing men's events. She has thus far failed to even make a cut at a men's event, but sponsor's still send her tournament exemptions. When she plays in LPGA events, she is a legitimate challenger. During men's events, she is a sideshow, a curiosity and nothing more. If I'm her, I'd rather be someone that people fear and respect for their skills, as oppose to someone who only gets mentioned because of their sex.

I'm sure that much of her actions have to do with her parents, agents, publicists, and any other form of parasite that has attached themselves to her. It must be tough to concentrate on golf when Corporate America has branded you the female Tiger Woods. At 16, she feels like she has to live up to the expectations that have been placed on her since she was a pre-teen. However, Tiger Woods went to college before he went pro; he won three U.S. Amateur titles before he took the big step up to the PGA tour. Tiger Woods in the most awe-inspiring human to ever play golf. At the age of 30, he is a living legend who enhances his standing with every round he plays. Tiger should be the standard by which all golfers, male or female, dead or alive, are measured. Wie seems to be trying to write her own story, forgoing the path that mere mortals(and apparently living legends) walk in search of fame and fortune. Her actions make me wonder...Who the fuck does she think she is?

(Wie So Horny....For Money)

Thus far, Wie has pissed me off by playing in men's tournaments without having even won a women's event, and by firing her caddy through her agent, over the phone. Everytime she fails to live up to her own myth, she blames it on someone else. That is probably a byproduct of her parents coddling their meal ticket too much. Her parents handle her like a winning Powerball ticket before its gets cashed in, and that isn't good for anyone. She stole a caddy away from a LPGA tour veteran, then fired him less than a year later because she couldn't hit a fairway or sink a putt. Michelle Wie may do for women's golf what Tiger did for golf in general, but judging by her recent track record, by the time she gets there she will be as beloved as Alex Rodriguez in New York.