What Being Hot Can Do For You

(Jenn Sterger, on the left)

Is it possible to become famous, or semi-famous, based solely on the fact that you are ridiculously hot? You're God damned right you can. This point has been proven recently by a student at Florida State named Jenn Sterger. During the Miami-FSU football game this past fall, Sterger was shown with a few friends in the stands doing every Native American's favorite; The Tomahawk Chop. Brent musberger, who was announcing the game, stated that "15,000 young red-blooded American men just signed up to go to Florida State next semester." You know what? He might have over estimated, but he is probably right. Not that FSU needed help attracting students. If anyone has ever gone to Panama City for spring break, you know about FSU girls. They were everywhere, they were hot, and they were usually pretty, ummm...friendly? Granted it was spring break, but you get the idea. Based on my spring break in Florida and my one trip through Tallahassee for a Gut Box(you have to know, you can't be told), I would have figured FSU was a great place to go to college. I mean, besides for the fact that there are so many STD's on campus that they have gone airbourne. I guess in the final analysis though, if you are at a school with 35,000 people ages 18-25, its hot all the time, and everyone looks good...there's probably a lot of promiscuous sex going on. I'm not hatin', im just sayin'.

Anyway, back to this lovely lady. I first found out about this girl from a guy in my office, who told me she was the hottest girl ever. Ok. So I looked at her pics, and I started to agree. She wrote a one page article in February on si.com about what has been going on since she was seen on tv in September. Just from that ten second appearance and those complementary words from Musberger, she has appeared in the new Maxim, and will be in the May issue of Playboy. Plus she was one of the top internet searches on Google and Yahoo during the first two months of this year. Surprisingly, Musberger never heard from NOW (National Organization for Women) about his comment, even though he implied that the girl's hotness would attract students to FSU. (Sorry, I have a grudge against NOW...where is No Ma'am when you need it?)

Now instead of being a normal (albeit really hot) college senior, she is Jenn Sterger, aka FSU Cowgirl aka The Facebook Princess. That's a good list of aliases based on her few seconds on air. I'm really impressed by the way this woman has parlayed her new found celebrity into opportunities for herself, while not coming off totally slutty. Now I'm sure you are saying, "But Adam, how can she not be considered slutty if she got famous by showing off her body while attending college football games?" Think about it this way; if you looked like her would you wear sweats and a hoodie to a game? Fuck no you wouldn't, you would do what she does. Its not like she is showing up for games in her underwear. And remember, its hot out there. She probably just woke up and pieced together her outfit in a way that would pacify the curiousity of the male student body section while also taking into consideration weather and game-time temperature. See, its more practical than slutty. I wanted to get a quote from someone on the FSU campus, so I sent Wide, Wide World of Sports correspondant Sean Wahl. Since everyone on campus knows who she is, he asked the first person he saw. Here is what he got, and its a real quote; "With legs of a model, and an ass like fucking Carmen Electra...man..if I could only get a piece of that..wait weren't we talking about Drew Weatherford(FSU QB)..oh yeah Jessica Sterger...yea she's good looking." Seems Mr. Wahl needs a bit more seasoning as a field reporter. He also mentioned that he knew someone who sat near her at a football game.

Ladies out there, take heed to the example of Jenn Sterger. All she really did was present herself in a way so that guy's couldn't take their eyes off her. And really, is there anything wrong with that? Its not like she put on kneepads and bribed the producers of the game to put her on tv. The person behind the camera at the football game was obviously a man, and if he valued that fact then the entire telecast would have been her cheering, with a few cut shots of the game she was cheering about. I don't know if she is single or not, but if she is and you are a man at FSU, or even within a day's drive of FSU, go find her, swallow your pride and ask her out. Chances are she will do a tap-dance on your feelings, but who cares? Will you be able to deal with the regret when you see her on tv someday standing there with a doppleganger of you?!? How can you know if her taste in men includes underachievers, jocks, or even nerds? Here's hoping she isn't into meatheads, but still... you never know until you try. In closing, I would like to congratulate Jenn Sterger on being extremely attractive, but also for having the sense to make something out of her incredibly fortunate stroke of good luck. If our paths ever cross Ms. Sterger, I will follow my own advice and kick some game. Just don't laugh okay?